If I learned one thing, it is that self-doubt is one of the most destructive forces. It makes you defensive instead of open, reactive instead of active. Self-doubt is consuming and cruel. And my hope today is that we can all collectively agree to ban it. . . Think to the moments of your life when you forgot to doubt yourself. When you were so inspired that you were just living and creating and working. Pay attention to those moments because they're trying to reach you through those lenses of doubt and trying to show you your potential.
This month sees the triumphant, and long overdue, return of our Portrait of a Revolutionary feature, in which we look at some of the influential figures who have created real change in the world. These Revolutionaries are the individuals who, regardless of when or where they lived, sent electrical currents through our societies, who created paradigm shifts, or who sparked global movements.
One of my all-time favourite docuseries is Into the Unknown: Making Frozen 2. As someone with young children, I’ve watched Frozen 2 more times than I can count, and with our youngest rapidly approaching Disney-age I’m gearing up for Frozen Mania 2.0 to sweep this household. But that’s not the only reason I love the docuseries. I love it because it’s such an insight into the culture of one of the world’s most creatively empowered companies, Disney Animation. From dailies to story trusts, to discovering just how essential each song is to the plot, and how the script isn’t locked until right at the last moment – every episode is chock-full of insight and inspiration.
One of the overwhelming takeaways of the series for me is just how brilliant Frozen’s writer and co-director, Jennifer Lee, is. She is a magical combination of talented and humble, affable but assertive, and most interestingly she manages to strike the perfect balance of welcoming ideas from every corner of the company while remaining in charge of the picture. She is approachable while commanding respect. In short, she was a natural choice for me to revive the Portrait of a Revolutionary series.
You can imagine my surprise on learning just how much self-doubt has been woven into the tapestry of her own journey. Having been bullied for much of her childhood, Lee’s self confidence was on the floor. It was at Columbia when a classmate gave her the advice that would change everything: “leave [self doubt] out of your work, just know that you’re good enough and move on.”
Imagine for a second though, that she didn’t. Imagine she let that self-doubt continue to paralyze her. For one, the world wouldn’t have Frozen. This might not seem like an overwhelming loss to you, but consider the MILLIONS of young girls empowered by seeing a story of not one, but TWO strong female characters. Without it, perhaps yet another generation of girls would have grown up believing they needed Prince Charming to save them. Disney animation may well have gone another 93 years without a female director.
But more importantly, think about Jennifer Lee herself. If she hadn’t managed to get a grasp of her self doubt, she would have lived her life with no idea of her true potential. She would never have known there was an Oscar-winning director within her. Or that she could be the first woman in history to direct a movie that grossed over $1 billion worldwide.
I’m not saying her life would have been a failure, but what really strikes me is that the only thing between Jennifer Lee and a career of world-class success was one thing: Jennifer Lee.
So stop for a second, just take a beat, and ask yourself: What is your self doubt stopping you from achieving? Who could you be if you trusted you were good enough? Where could you go if you got out of your own way?
I’ve been asking myself these questions recently. My own self doubt has been rearing its ugly head telling me all sorts of things I don’t need to hear. Whispering seductions of failure and inadequacy that this holiday season I came far too close to giving into. Jennifer Lee’s story arrived like a tonic when I needed it most.
So I choose to side with Jennifer and give self-doubt the middle finger. But it’s easier said than done. That voice is such a familiar companion. It has been there forever with me, just before I go on stage, or in the middle of the night, or half way through that big meeting… it’s going to take more than a few moments of determination to get it to back down. This is why I’ve started the Joyful Journaling Journey this month – misery loves company, but positivity thrives on community, and so I’m enlisting all of you to walk this walk alongside me.
Journaling is one method I’m trying on this quest. I’ve also found that blasting upbeat music and dancing like a crazed woman helps (and my daughters love it too). Exercise is a big one in general. But time and again, I come back to my father’s wisdom. When I was a teenager and so terrified of my own voice that I locked it away, I asked him for advice on how to approach a presentation at school.
He said: “trust yourself, you won’t let yourself fall if you can help it.”
And I think there, in one of those short and effortless moments of his infinite wisdom, is the secret to battling self doubt: build self trust.
Build it like any muscle – through small, repetitive exercises. Set yourself a task and complete it. Fix a goal and reach it. Identify a hurdle and conquer it. Build a trust in yourself that is so strong it can’t be rocked by anyone else’s opinions.
That’s my goal for 2025. Are you with me?
Does self-doubt plague you too? Have you developed any techniques to battling it? How do you build trust in yourself?
Comment below.
